In a culture steeped in romantic individualism and emotional entitlement, the idea that a wife could — or should — be involved in finding another wife for her husband seems radical, even offensive. But when we return to the Bible, we discover a vision for family that is ordered, sacrificial, and aimed not at feelings and emotion but, fruitfulness and kingdom purpose.
This post will lay out a Biblical foundation for why a wife may not only support but even initiate the pursuit of another wife for her husband — not as a betrayal of her role, but as a fulfillment of it.
1. Polygyny in the Biblical Record: Not Condemned, but Regulated
The first step is acknowledging that polygyny (one man, multiple wives) is never condemned in Scripture regardless what you may have heard to the contrary. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and many others had multiple wives. While some situations led to strife, the Lord never outlawed the practice; instead, He gave laws to regulate it (see Exodus 21:10, Deuteronomy 21:15–17).
God is not the author of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33), and the presence of such relationships in His Word — including in the lineage of Christ cannot be dismissed simply because they are not currently “in style”. The Church has long tried to sweep this under the rug, but the Bible does not share that discomfort.
2. The Wife’s Role as a Helper and Keeper of the Household
Genesis 2:18 tells us the wife was created to be a helper fit for her husband. This is not a small task, it’s a sacred one. A godly wife is a builder of her household (Proverbs 14:1), and that includes discerning what her family needs to grow and thrive.
If a man is walking in righteousness, leading with strength, and bearing fruit in his work and leadership, the question becomes: Why wouldn’t a wise and godly wife desire to multiply that influence?
A woman who fears the Lord sees the bigger picture. She knows her husband’s strength is not just for her benefit, but for God’s glory.
3. An Example in Sarah: A Wife Who Gave Another Woman to Her Husband
Genesis 16 gives us a striking example: Sarai gave her maid Hagar to Abram to bear a child. While the result was complicated, it was Sarah’s idea. She saw her barrenness and sought to provide her husband with a son, and she was not condemned for this action.
Her motives were not perfect, but her initiative aligned with a foundational truth: a godly woman desires her husband’s name and legacy to continue. This isn’t weakness, it’s vision.
4. The Spirit of Selflessness in Biblical Marriage
Biblical love is not based on insecurity, jealousy, or possessiveness. First Corinthians 13 teaches us that love “does not envy,” “is not self-seeking,” and “rejoices in the truth.” A godly wife, confident in her place, understands that adding another woman is not a threat, it’s an act of expansion.
Just as Christ’s Bride (the Church) is not made of one person, but many, so too can a man’s household expand, ideally with the current wife/wives blessing and even involvement.
5. Unity and Order: A Wife as Gatekeeper, Not Gate Crasher
If a man simply adds a second wife without unity in his home, chaos can result. But when a first wife leads or participates in that process — helping to vet, disciple, and welcome a new wife into the family, there can be a greater chance of order, peace, and shared vision.
Rather than being left out, the first wife is honored with responsibility. She becomes not only a wife, but a matriarch, a Titus 2 woman who models maturity and sacrifice.
6. The Gospel Model: Multiplication Through Submission
The Gospel is a model of submission for the sake of fruit. Christ submitted to the Father. The Church submits to Christ. Husbands lay down their lives. Wives submit to their husbands, not because they are lesser, but because their obedience multiplies life.
In the same way, a wife’s willingness to open her home and heart to another woman, chosen with wisdom and prayer, can be a powerful testimony of Gospel love: not possessive, but sacrificial and abundant.
Conclusion: A Higher Vision for Marriage
This isn’t about competition or romantic indulgence. It’s about seeing marriage as mission, family as fruitfulness, and love as selfless.
A wife who encourages or even leads in seeking another godly woman for her husband isn’t abdicating her role, she is elevating it. She is thinking generationally. She is multiplying strength. She is trusting that God’s ways are higher than ours.
And in a world of broken homes and weak men, we need more women who are brave enough to build something bigger than themselves.
“A wise woman builds her house…” — Proverbs 14:1
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” — Proverbs 18:22
Let us be women — and men — who pursue the favor of the Lord above the approval of man.