In Titus 2:3-5, women are given some instructions regarding their husbands, children and homes. “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children…that the word of God be not blasphemed.” One thing we notice about these verses is that the older women are instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands. In our society we have the idea that when we fall in love with a man, this love (emotion) will keep the marriage together. This is far from the truth. Of course, emotional love is part of marriage, but the kind of love that the Scripture is referring to here in these verses has to be taught and learned. It is God’s love as spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13. We might also call it character in our modern society. The first step in learning how to love a husband, or anyone else for that matter, is to receive Christ into our hearts and let Him become our teacher. As we love Him and He loves us, that love spills over to those around us. We learn how to love others through reading, studying and applying God’s Word to our hearts and our lives. Those who are older and more experienced can share with the younger ladies in order that they may be spared many heartaches by heeding their godly advice. Let us not think that we have all the answers but truly be open to the advice of those who are older and wiser than yourselves, however you need a submissive spirit to be able to learn from others. A necessary ingredient for a compatible union, in spite of the abuses that occur when men are wrongly taught about their headship, is that women submit to their husbands.

What does God expect of women in this area? First of all, we must understand that submission is an attitude and not just an action. Submission begins in the heart. There is a story about a little boy that was instructed by his teacher to sit down and be quiet. Because of his rebellious nature he did not want to do this, but was forced to by his teacher. Later, the children in the class were chiding him by saying, “Boy, you really sat down and shut up when the teacher approached you with the paddle.” The rebellious boy replied,”I may have been sitting down on the outside, but I was still standing up on the inside.” Many times women who claim to be submissive are only outwardly going through the motions of submission while inwardly they are still resenting their position in life. A prayer of submission would be in order: “Father, help me to be content in the role you created me for and give me a submissive spirit, not only toward my mate, but also toward each member in the body of Christ. Let me serve and not expect to be served. Create within me a lamb-like spirit even as Christ our Lord had. Amen.” Of course, as we have mentioned, there are limits to submission as it should always be “as unto the Lord.” We must first submit to God and then the problems involving submission to others will be resolved by Him. Some results that can occur when women are not in a right relationship with men are divorce, rebellious children and emotional problems. One of the main causes for these problems is an evil spiritual force of female domination. In I Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:22-25, and Ephesians 6:1-3, the divine order for families is stated. The husband is the head, then the wife is second in command, with the children in obedience to them. When the woman seeks to usurp this authority and rule the home, havoc results and the home is left wide open for Satanic attack. “As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12). In our land today, children are rebellious, causing strife in the homes, and women have become bossy and demanding. It is no wonder homes are falling apart. This type of spirit in a woman is a “Jezebel spirit.” Just as Jezebel ruled her husband, King Ahab, in the Bible (I Kings 21:25), many women today are guilty of the same sin. The Lord would have our homes be examples of love, and the authority should be exercised in love. When someone has a “Jezebel spirit,” it subtly manipulates the lives of everyone around them. Should we be guilty of this domineering spirit, let us ask the Lord to deliver us and create within us a sweet submissive spirit that is pleasing to the Lord. We will then be willing to listen to our husbands, knowing that the logic God gave man is for the protection of the woman. A woman must begin by seeing the kind of woman she is. The woman in Proverbs 31:28, “Her children arise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her,” or the one in Proverbs 21:19, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”your desire should be to fit into the category of the first type, for you certainly do not want to be referred to as angry and contentious.

But I wonder, if you honestly examined your hearts and motives and let the Lord turn His searchlight on you, if you might not see some areas where anger and contention do exist in your lives. Perhaps you do not openly voice our anger, but inside hold it toward your husbands or children; and have feelings of resentment toward them. One of the things that begin to erode a marriage away is when the woman begins to speak critically to the husband. The things you say to and about your husband can either be uplifting and encouraging or they can bring disharmony and hurt. Little critical words will lead to a dissatisfaction with you and can escalate to bring about a divorce. No woman should threaten to divorce her husband just to get her way, or manipulate her husband to do something they really don’t want to do. When a woman threatens divorce this is like speaking words of murder to your marriage. Words can accumulate in the spirit and cause one to react lovingly or hateful by what is spoken. The above verses warn the wife not to return “railing for railing” but “blessing for a railing.” As kind words are returned this stops the cycle of “railing for railing.” Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

In closing i would like to address wives speaking and even teaching in the church. 1 Timothy 2:11-15 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing. 1 Corinthians 14:34-36 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.